Stage Fright

I'm taking an Intro to Speech class this term. Tonight, I gave the first of five speeches that are assigned for it. Since I am taking this class in an online format, I have to record myself giving the speech in front of an audience (not less than 3 adults) then mail the videotapes to my instructor.

Of course, my audience consists of people I know--in this case, family members. My brother, sister-in-law and mother were kind enough to consent to being my audience. How sweet of them!! You would think that giving a speech in front of not only people you know but actual family members would make the experience easier. Alas, I am here to tell you that, especially for someone who suffers from extreme stage fright, the experience was still excruciatingly painful!! Yes, I said EXCRUCIATING! It was horrible. I gave the speech twice as practice in front of them and STILL managed to flub up the real thing. It was horrible. Even though in real life I rarely ever use vocalized pauses, as soon as that camera turned on I was incapable of starting a new sentence without saying "and" plus I said "umm" several times. The worst part was I was fully aware of what I was doing and trying to stop myself made me lose my train of thought.

I don't think I will be getting an A in this class. Shit, there goes my 4.0 GPA!! lol